Toasterphobia
by Anna Skywalker
Summary: Quatre is afraid of the toaster. This is the stupidest thing I've ever written. That's what makes it so funny though ^_^ please R&R! **Grammer errors fixed**


**             Toaster-Phobia**

A/N: this is based on my own fear of the toaster(only very much exaggerated).  ^_^;; you see, our toaster is really loud when the toast pops up and it scares the hell out of me every time. This is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever written.  But that's what makes it funny ^_^

Warnings: non-yaoi. No romance what so ever anyway so it makes no difference.  mild swearing.

Disclaimer: I don't own GW.  Heck, I might as well, I've spent over 200 dollars on GW stuff…_ I'm never going to get a car.  The surgeon general should issue a warning on all Anime "Warning: may drain all your money and take up all your time.  You'll think about it day and night, and spend any other free time looking it up on the internet and writing fanfiction on it." Not that I regret becoming obsessed of course. Oh yeah. I don't own McDonalds or toasters.

Quatre was in the kitchen of his mansion, where the rest of the G-boys were staying as well.  He was the only one awake besides Wufei, who was outside running laps around his mansion. He cautiously walked by the toaster and over to the pantry. He took out two pieces of bread and tip-toed back over to the toaster.  Biting his lip, he dropped the slices of bread into the toaster slots.  He reached a shaky hand forward and quickly slammed the lever down.  He then proceeded to run like hell until he was out of the kitchen and safely in the living room.

He sighed in relief and sat down on the couch.   "What was that all about?" asked a voice.  Quatre turned around to see Duo coming down the stairs.  "What were you running from Q-man?"

Quatre blushed slightly. "I um….was running from the…toaster…"

Duo raised his eyebrows. "The toaster? You're afraid of the toaster?" He burst out laughing "Why?"

"Well it's um…really loud and it scares me…" he trailed off.

Trowa and Heero came downstairs and Wufei walked in the door, covered in sweat.  Duo was laughing hysterically. Heero raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny?" he asked in his usual monotone.

"Quatre is…hahahahahah…he's…heh…afraid of the…hahaha…toaster!!" Choked Duo.

The other three turned to stare at Quatre, looking surprised.  Poor Quatre turned even redder. "It's because it's so loud…it scares me half to death every time…"

Wufei snorted. "Weakling," he muttered under his breath. 

"Let me get this straight, you're not afraid of mobile suit battles, but you're afraid of the toaster?" Asked Trowa incredulously 

Quatre nodded.  "Well," said Duo, "why don't we help him overcome it?"

Quatre shook his head. "Um, no that's ok."

The other four pilots exchanged a glance.

"Quatre you can't go through life afraid of toasters," said Trowa

Quatre backed away. "Oh yes I can…"

Heero and Wufei grabbed Quatre's arms and Trowa went and got a chair to tie him to.  Quatre looked around nervously 

"What are you guys going to do?"  Quatre asked, trying not to sound panicked.

Trowa brought out a small bedside table and placed it in front of Quatre's chair.  Heero came out of the kitchen with the toaster. Quatre shuddered.

Heero placed the toaster on the table and grabbed the plug.  He looked around for an outlet but the nearest one was across the living room. "Hn," he said and went to find an extension cord. Seeing the problem Quatre sighed in relief.

"Oh well I guess your little plan won't work. I'll just be going now…" he said quickly, trying to bunny-hop his chair away from the toaster. 

"Oh no you don't," growled Wufei.  He grabbed the back of Quatre's chair and dragged him back.  "Don't be suck a weakling, it's just a toaster"

By this time Heero had returned with an extension cord.  He proceeded to plug in the toaster as Duo walked in from the kitchen wearing an executioner's hood and a piece of bread in each hand.  He cackled evilly.  The other four pilots stared.

"Um, Duo, don't you think you're overdoing it just a little bit?"  Trowa asked.

Duo shrugged innocently. "So? Why can't I have a little fun every once and a while?"  The other three just rolled their eyes.  Quatre was too busy shaking to roll his eyes.

Duo walked over to the toaster, and placed the pieces of bread in the toaster.   With a final cackle he pushed down the lever.  Quatre winced.  

Duo took off his executioner's hood.  "So um, anyone up for lunch?" 

"Duo, it's ten o'clock in the morning," said Heero glancing at him.

Duo shrugged. "Well then let's go to McDonald's and get breakfast"

Trowa Heero and Wufei all shrugged and left to go eat.  Quatre began to sweat. He eyed the toaster warily.  How long did he have?  A minute? Two?  He wasn't sure.  Then, when he least expected it, the toast popped up with a loud "POP!"  Quatre nearly had a heart attack.  He breathed deeply and tried to calm himself down.   About half an hour later, Trowa, Heero, Duo and Wufei returned.  

"Hey Q-man! We got you an egg Mcmuffin!" said Duo cheerfully. "Are you over your toaster-phobia?" 

Quatre just shrugged so Wufei decided to test him. After untying Quatre, he picked up the toaster and tossed it to him.  Quatre leaped back, an expression of fear on his face. 

Heero shook his head. "He's not over it."  

Trowa nodded. "We need to try something more drastic…"

That night Quatre went to sleep uneasily. He checked under his bed and in his closet for toasters.  After assuring himself that his room was toaster-free, he crawled into bed and went to sleep.  The next morning he awoke to an unimaginable horror…well unimaginable for him at least.  

Duo and Wufei were downstairs playing poker when they heard a loud yell.  Duo grinned.

"Looks like Quatre found our surprise. Funny, he doesn't sound too happy…"

"Baka," said Wufei, "Tormenting him by filling his room with toasters won't get him over his fear of the toaster."

Duo raised an eyebrow. "Alright than Wu-man, what's your suggestion?"

Before Wufei could answer, Quatre came running down the stairs.  He pointed, wide-eyed to the stairs.

"UP THERE.  TOASTERS. HUNDREDS. OF. TOASTERS."  He gasped before collapsing on the ground, out cold.

Duo and Wufei looked at each other and burst out laughing.  Wait…Wufei laughing?  Am I the only one who sees this as really odd? 

Quatre lay awake in bed that night thinking. They were never going to leave him alone if they thought he was afraid of toasters….

The next morning Quatre woke up with a plan in mind.  He waited until he heard everyone else downstairs before coming down himself. He made his way to the kitchen and walked over to the toaster.  Everyone was staring at him.  He forced himself to pick up the toaster and hug it.  Heero blinked.  Quatre turned toward the others  

"I've come to realize that toasters are our friends.  We should be nice to them."  As a finishing touch he kissed the toaster.   The other four pilots started at Quatre for another moment and then went back to whatever they'd been doing before.  Quatre unceremoniously tossed the toaster back onto the counter.  Finally, everything was back to normal.

Well that's it.  This is probably my last GW fic because I'm sick of dealing with crazy, rude people who think they're smart.  But maybe if I get lots of feedback I'll feel inspired to write more humor GW fics, though I have no ideas right at the moment. So, please R&R!!

2/15/03: New improved grammar!   


End file.
